It's Friday. Sex?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
