All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
