Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
