I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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