is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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