I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i want to swaddle you in tequila
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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