Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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