they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
