I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
