their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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