I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
