Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
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