So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize