I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
