Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
