He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
