help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
