I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
