It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
