I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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