You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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