when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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