I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
