that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
two words: eviction party
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
