So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize