the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
