goodnight i made you a song goodbye
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
