i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
