i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
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