New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize