I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize