I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She bit a glass in half.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
