i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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