Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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