if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
