I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
