She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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