we're blogging at a bar
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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