it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
