yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
