I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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