we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
