Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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