Just fell off a train. Bad.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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