His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
