wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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