i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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