I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
