im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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