I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You need a sexual gate keeper
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
