sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
