it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
