using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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