It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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