I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize