I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
