She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
