i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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