So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
