I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize