when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
