So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
And then he peed in my hair
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