There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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