Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
