Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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