I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
