my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
