epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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