True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
