Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
