everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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