I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
