I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
