If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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