Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
