sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
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