I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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